Beauty and two beasts (l to r): Gov. Sarah Palin (R-AK); untalented lesbian nobody; C-list Hollywood starlet Lintseed Lame-ham.
(Purulence, CA) Lintseed Lame-ham, professional lesbian and poxed whore popular with teenagers, today awarded her coveted Presidential endorsement to first-term Senator Barack Hussein Obama (Marxist-IL). In giving Obama her imprimatur and attacking Gov. Sarah Palin (R-AK) Lame-ham joins other grave elder statesmen such as Pam Anderson, Margaret Cho and Matt Damon.
Asked whether she was troubled by Obama’s now-notorious racist remark that “White folks’ greed runs a world in need,” since she is a rich white folk herself, Lame-ham laughed off the question. “He can, like, totally say that ’cause he IS white. He’s only black in the sense his mama was fortuitously fertilized by a traveling Kenyan academic. Other’n that, he’s been fostered solely by rich white-guilt people, from Punahou prep school to Harvard.” Asked if she knew what a law review is or why Obama mysteriously never wrote any legal scholarship while purportedly editing one, Lint-seed averted her raccoon-mascara eyes and popped her gum a little louder.
Lame-ham then smirked, or perhaps it was only a fleeting flatulence, fore or aft. “Imagine the reaction in the Kool-Aid media if John McCain had said ‘Black folks‘ sloth makes the spinning of the moth.’ Like, omigod…” Here Lint-seed interrupted herself to plunge a hand down her waistband, scratching what seemed to be a fiery itch high on her inner thigh. When relief obtained she withdrew fingernail from fundament and resumed: “Yeah, and Sarah Palin’s like, crass and stupid or something.”
Asked whether she could locate Alaska on a map without assistance, Lint-seed bristled: “Of course! That’s that state in the South where the Democrat governor turned fire hoses on black people, but then Abraham Washington freed the slaves so everything was like, okay and shit, and…” Here Lame-ham again broke off, raising the aforementioned fingernail to nostril, then gingerly fingered her upper lip, red and puffy from what appeared to be carpet burn.