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Dearest acerbic blog writer, Esquire:
I came upon the sordid affair that is “Savage Indignation” whilst hunting for more megapixels of that hunky young chunk of ginger, Prince Harry, to add to my 2am spank bank.
I am both disgusted and aroused by your blog. While your form is absolutely brilliant, your content leaves me dry heaving, and I am experiencing traumatic flashbacks of Deep Throat. I both believe and disbelieve that you are “successfully, happily acculturated and highly-educated.”
Clearly, your bottom line is the punch line. I think we can both agree that the public-o-politico arena is not black and white (unfortunately we let some of you brownies in for free). Therefore, it is a disservice to your raza to paint it as such, regardless of comedic effect.
I am especially appalled at your repeated reference to gay marriage as making sodomy into sacrament. The Catholic Church did that a long time ago; hence, altar boys. At the very least, give credit where it is due.
Also, all this talk of fudge packing makes the lesbians feel left out. When lesbians feel left out, high schoolers pay — in gym class. And really, high school is hard enough. Please, protect the children.
I do hope that somewhere in your impressive education you came across the notion of the separation of Church and State. I do hope that you understand the distinction between religious ceremony and legal protection. Allowing a porcupine-headed bull dyke to put her Betty Paige-wannabe ladyfriend and their two adopted Chinese daughters on her medical insurance will not contribute to the return to “Graeco-Roman moral filth.”
If I may, some observations — I noticed three prominent themes: eyebrows, horses, and butt sex. If the whole through-a-glass-darkly/projection-as-defense-mechanism shplurg holds true, then I imagine you as a John Kerry look-a-like with Bert brows and a penchant for rectal spelunking. Damn that’s getting me hot. Given this doppelgänger, it might behoove you to embrace your inner Pancho Villa fugly ass sodomite. After all, Perez could be your homie.
While I may be a contemptible parasite, I am in no way limp. I would love for you to try out your cyberwhip & tongue on me. I’ll be waiting in a smegma-encrusted alleyway in Tijuana.
P.S. Huckabee? Really? You could have donated to Raëlism.
My dear sir, thank you for using the courtesy title; I always stand on ceremony with strangers. I infer from your putative e-mail address that you have or affect an affinity for Hibernia; as this blog’s patron sage is the Anglo-Irish titan Swift, the great master of satire as scatology, one is always glad of lace-curtain Irish attention, if such indeed you bring.
I’m gratified one of your intelligence and verbal facility has chanced on my little corner of Grub Street, though naturally I’m chagrined that yet another bright boy drinks the Left’s watery Kool-Aid. Your contention that you are in no way limp is noted, but a white liberal is after all a man who wouldn’t take his own side in an argument, which is beneath contempt; as I’ve elsewhere observed in another context, being an anti-American bedwetter’s not hot. Yet, at risk of irreverence toward our father among the saints Paul of Tarsus, wit covers a multitude of political sins, and your paragraph on the lesbians, is especially good; my thanks, I shall henceforth devote at least as much satiric space to carpet-munching Sapphics as to fudge-packing pathics.
The separation of Church and state? How quaint. I suppose one must pay lip service to Erastianism when dealing with post-1789 Europeans, but as any jurist remotely faithful to the text and ratification history of the Bill of Rights concedes, the First Amendment guarantees no such thing. It only forbids, as in Britain of the time, one sect being legally established as the national Church. The distinction between religious ceremony and legal protection? There is no legal protection due intrinsically-disordered acts; saying “Against homosexual marriage? Don’t enter one” is even more logically and morally feeble than “Against slavery? Don’t own one.” In any case, as Ann Coulter observes, secular liberalism is the state religion in America, as everyone over the age of three knows, and it brooks no interference with its sacraments: state-funded uterine infanticide, mass Third World immigration, and of course loathsome acts of homogenital stimulation.
Speaking of, if one can take this online persona at face value, I regret your body leads you around like a dumb ox with a ring in its nose (the Prince Harry pix) but as one in a similar boat not so very long ago I entirely commiserate. A strict and loftily calm celibate, by hard ascetic effort, fasting, vigils, prostrations, and prayer (and of course on the Orthodox account Divine grace) I contemplate the nubile human body, and other fresh perishables, with apatheia. For it’s quite possible, with purification of the passions, to observe great bodily beauty yet not have one’s mind erased by the desire to consume it. Either the Epictetan corpse you carry around is your chattel slave, or you are its; there’s no in between. Unredeemed Nature, animal and human, is a brute that eats and shits itself to death (if it doesn’t fuck itself to death first), as only the hardest-core sensualists or most austere ascetics are good enough to admit, and I decline to let it lead me around by the nose. A libertine still feebly thrashing in the spider’s web will be hard-pressed to believe it but truth is truth, whatever subjective error believes about it, or rather Him. (Re: doubtless a man of your talents has seen through the sophism of asserting the contrary which, positing an absolute, stands self-refuted and deserves no further waste of one’s time.)
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