Ted Kennedy, mafioso, drunk, drowner of women, bulwark of anti-American Left, dead at 77.

August 27, 2009

Mary Jo Kopechne’s watery grave: requiescat in pace.

Teddy's Car

(Martha’s Libtard, MA) Speaker of the House Nates Pilosae (D-Fistula) announced today she would rally liberal support for the flagging ObamaCare bill by renaming it the Senator Kennedy Really Enjoyed Women Undressing, or SKREWU, Act. Asked if this means any substantive changes, Pilosae said: “Well, we’re planning to make the reproductive health care stuff a stand-alone bill. The mother’s, I mean. To be fair, cranial puncture and suction doesn’t necessarily meet everybody’s definition of health care for babies.”

As some in the audience shifted in their seats, Pilosae continued: “The stand-alone bill, which we’re calling the Ted Kennedy Inconvenient Duty to Rescue Act, dispenses with all that partial-birth stuff our base is so keen on. Instead, unwanted children will be allowed to be born but then plied with booze and drugs, strapped into an Oldsmobile, and driven off a bridge into a pond. Then left to swim for themselves. All taxpayer-funded, of course. We think Sen. Kennedy would be proud.”

— Sue Denham

In a more literal vein, via ABC News:

Americans were horrified when they learned that rescue workers found [Mary Jo Kopechne’s] body in the well of the back seat with her head held up, perhaps indicating that she had been alive for some time breathing in an air pocket.

No comment.

It may be that Edward Kennedy will find mercy in the other world, a good defense before the dread judgment seat of Christ, in the ancient formulation. Maybe not. It’s not for us still on this side of the veil to say. But what we can say, is that pretty young staffers, unborn children, our republican forms of government, and whiskey distilleries everywhere will sleep better tonight.  Or as my tart-tongued friend Peona de Fleur said yesterday: “My mother always said to say something good about the dead.  Ted Kennedy’s dead.  Good.”

fat-ted-kennedy

A bit jaggy but genuine I believe: a rare Hibernian walrus, Ebriosus cacatus, disoriented with drink and drugs, beaches itself on Martha’s Vineyard.

Advertisements

5 Responses to “Ted Kennedy, mafioso, drunk, drowner of women, bulwark of anti-American Left, dead at 77.”

  1. Yura Jacquov said

    Fuckwit.

    • Anita Farmer said

      Delighted it pissed you off. And please do bang out another of your devastating ripostes, if your twelve stubby fingers aren’t otherwise engaged up your arse.

  2. Cause to celebrate.
    Ted is coming up on three months sober.

  3. James Baxter said

    Your a cunt who insults dead men who tried to do good things. You profess a populist, misquoting, ignorant bitch to be the next savior president. I am a 25yr old hard working, tax paying teacher of your children and your crude form of ignorance is fading with your generation as I and other, well educated, real Americans teach love and critical thinking along side discipline and pragmatism. There is no hell but the one you create for yourself. May God have mercy on your angry soul.

    • Gerrie Attrick said

      “Your a cunt…” It’s always reassuring to see that our good will eventually triumph over your your evil, because evil’s so invincibly, laughably stupid. You web-footed arse-scratching nose-picking libtards boggle the mind (the thing you would think with, if you were able to think). Silly old ass, what you meant to say was “You’re a cunt…” And such eloquence and quick wit! What a hit you must be with the elegant and witty ladies you proposition down at the Wal-Mart — a regular Cole Porter or Noel Coward. Delighted the post irritated you, and please, do stop by again when you’ve mastered “Hooked on Phonics.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: