December 18, 2008
Subaru (SOO-bah-roo)(n.). (1) Metal casing for a douchebag. (2) Preferred foreign car of lesbian schoolmarms, Sierra Club yippies and other anti-American bores.
Bourgie brat of Marin malingerers, madrassah-mentored, and the malingerers themselves appeal to Pres. Bush to let the Littlest Jihadi out of prison early — in the spirit of mercy of the Christmas season! Er, um, WHY exactly are the tender flower of Bay leftism and his enablers appealing to mercy in the season of Christ’s Nativity? I mean, they hate Him after all — the religion Johnny brandished arms to impose on the world flatly denies the Incarnation, and the Dhimmicrats who bred him spend all their time, when not zooming “zombie-like at the wheels of their BMWs” to and fro the counting houses of San Fran, filing suit to tear down courthouse Crèches (gotta make room for those Code Pink witches’ sabbaths).
Here I can’t do better than recall Mark Twain’s incisive portrait of the wailers and gnashers of teeth who always blame the victim and pity the perp. From chapter 33 of Tom Sawyer:
This funeral stopped the further growth of one thing — the petition to the governor for Injun Joe’s pardon. The petition had been largely signed; many tearful and eloquent meetings had been held, and a committee of sappy women been appointed to go in deep mourning and wail around the governor, and implore him to be a merciful ass and trample his duty under foot. Injun Joe was believed to have killed five citizens of the village, but what of that? If he had been Satan himself there would have been plenty of weaklings ready to scribble their names to a pardon-petition, and drip a tear on it from their permanently impaired and leaky water-works.
December 6, 2008
A Rolling Stone gathers no moss — but some covering for the cracks would be decent.
From chilly London comes this heartwarming tale of a cadaver and a youthful Russian prostitute with a heart of gold(digger). Together at last — lust will find a way! We bien-pensants may not have got sodomy and cunnilingus declared a sacrament in California last month, but at least in Britain the silly old taboo on necrophilia is weakening, and not a moment too soon! Did you know surveys show 69% of Britons still cling to an outmoded patriarchalist disciplinary whereby a rich old man can face bigotry and even discrimination, just ’cause he dumps wife and children to buy an impoverished teenager a third his age? (Wood, 61, drowned in his own vomit in a heroin overdose last year but thankfully has been mummified in gin since 1968 and so survived.) That figure drops to 3% for British citizens of Pakistani descent, so three cheers once again for the Muslim colonization of England; I’m sure the honor killings and bomb plots will stop any day now. — Martinus Scriblerus, guest poster
[Ed. note: Scriblerus’ views do not necessarily represent those of your candid blogging servant, Sue Denham.]
December 2, 2008
“Do you know what they do to soft, bald, overweight [men] in prison, Ernest?” — Madeleine in Death Becomes Her
(Blancmange, GA) Jim Martin, Obama stooge and Dhimmicrat candidate for Saxby Chambliss’ (R-GA) Senate seat, staged a rally last night in Atlanta with three close personal friends from the country club. Pictured left to right: T.I., Young Jeezy, Martin and Ludacris. The three caps (on their heads, not in your ass, thank you) are all accomplished musicians. T.I. is a master of the classical violin while Jeezy is known to opera audiences from Sydney to St Petersburg for roles such as Pamino, Lohengrin and Calaf; Ludicrous meanwhile honed his a cappella talents in the choir of King’s, Cambridge while also earning a double first in classics and maths.
Dashing Dhimmicrat Martin, frequently described as a weaker-chinned Mitch McConnell or a doughier Harry “My Pencil’s Outta Lead” Reid, has pledged if elected to bend over backward to help grease the skids for president-elect Sen. Uterine Infanticide (D-IL) and the First Dragqueen, who’s moved on up to a subtle twelve-carat diamond on her big right hand.