News flash: Stale pop tart lashes out at younger, hotter woman!

October 7, 2008

Saddle leather.

(Raunchonchville) Raddled old hooker and rich baritone Madonna Ciccone, her cherry filling rotted sour, is desperately seeking Sarah — and relevance — today by lashing out at Gov. Palin (R-AK). Sources say sprays of street hustler icing to Ciccone’s face and shots of preservatives (and penicillin) have so far failed to keep weevils from burrowing in the pop tart’s crust.

Ciccone, who is 78 but looks older, said: “My witless jabs at Palin show I won’t go gentle into that good night of skank oblivion. I’m gonna flash my stringy, dehydrated crotchparts to bored audiences ’til I drop!” Medical experts say this could be risky given Ciccone’s osteoporotic hipbones, already weakened by lots of rough grabbing from behind by hired Apollos.

Palin responded by winking adorably, saying: “Bless her heart! Leathery old Madonna can’t see the humor in calling her tour ‘Sticky and Sweet’ when the best adjectives would be ‘Stuck Together and Stank.'”


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